Healthy Family Conversations: How to Teach Teens Safe and Responsible Internet Use

Raising children in 2025 looks vastly different from parenting in the early 2000s—largely due to the rapid rise of social media, instant messaging platforms, live video streaming, and online and Limited Run video games. These technologies enable constant, global communication, offering powerful new ways to connect. But with these advancements come serious safety concerns, especially for young people.

Unrestricted access to online content and interactions can expose teens to potential risks. Parents often find themselves struggling to protect their children, particularly when it comes to monitoring internet use. According to a survey by End Child Prostitution, Child Pornography, and Trafficking of Children for Sexual Purposes (ECPAT), a global organization dedicated to ending the sexual exploitation of children, 55% of parents identified online safety as their top concern—ranking even higher than worries about their children’s mental and physical health.^[1] This statistic underscores how pressing this issue is for today’s families.

How can parents foster open, judgment-free conversations with their teens about responsible internet behavior and the consequences of risky online actions? We spoke with Jeanine Mouchawar, a Stanford University alumna and parenting coach who specializes in helping parents connect with their teens to rebuild trust. Her approach empowers teens to communicate honestly and without shame.

These are common challenges parents face in today’s digital parenting landscape and practical strategies for building a relationship rooted in trust, where both teens and parents feel heard, respected, and supported.

Challenge 1: “My child is always on their phone, making them disconnected from the family.”

Smartphones and social media have become major distractions, not just for teens, but for adults as well. Many parents can relate to asking their child a question and receiving no response because they’re absorbed in a text, video game, or social media feed. While this may seem like typical behavior, it can have serious implications for teen development. Research shows that excessive social media use is linked to poorer mental health outcomes and can contribute to antisocial behavior, especially when digital interactions replace real-life connections.^[2]

These distractions also take a toll on academic performance. Teachers across grade levels nationwide have voiced concerns about the constant interruptions caused by phone use in class, which shortens attention spans and disrupts learning. In response, some schools have implemented strict policies, such as requiring students to lock their phones in magnetic pouches that can only be opened by school staff.^[3]

Strategy 1: How to Approach the Issue with Your Teen

Smartphones and social media algorithms are intentionally designed to capture attention and, often, to keep it. But that doesn’t have to be the norm in your household. As a parent, setting clear boundaries around screen time and modeling healthy tech habits yourself can make a big difference.

Mouchawar emphasizes that one of the most important things to avoid is turning phone use into a source of conflict between you and your teen. Rather than starting with a rule, begin with a conversation. Share your values, like wanting more time to connect as a family, and invite your teen to brainstorm how that could happen. They might suggest ideas like a phone-free dinner or a weekly unplugged activity. When teens help shape the plan, they’re more likely to follow through. Plus, it builds trust instead of tension.

While weekends can be more challenging, they also offer opportunities to encourage offline engagement. Plan fun activities that take your child out of the house, whether it’s sports, outdoor adventures, or spending time with friends. In today’s digital world, teens may default to online interactions, so helping them nurture real-life social connections can help positively impact their mental health.

Challenge 2: “I don’t know much about AI, but my child does and is using it for assignments.”

The rise of generative AI has introduced new challenges for academic integrity. Some teens are tempted to use AI tools to complete assignments, which can have long-term consequences. Mouchawar reflected on a mother she coached whose high schooler had used AI for a writing assignment and failed due to the school’s technology that is able to flag the percentage of AI content in an assignment. This action caused the child’s GPA to decrease, an outcome that could affect the child’s college applications.

Strategy 2: How to Approach the Issue with Your Teen

After hearing the mother’s story, Mouchawar coached her to approach the situation thoughtfully. Since the school allowed limited AI use, such as for research, Mouchawar advised against jumping straight into discipline. Instead, she encouraged the mom to begin by asking her teen whether she felt equipped with the right tools and guidance to use AI appropriately for the assignment.

Mouchawar also recommended that the parent advocate for clearer instruction from the school on how students can use AI responsibly, to avoid unintentional plagiarism. For parents concerned about academic honesty, one approach is to have your child complete the assignment independently first, then use AI tools for feedback, similar to how a teacher might offer suggestions.

Most importantly, make sure you and your teen understand the school’s specific policies on AI use. But don’t stop there—help your teen develop their own internal compass for navigating AI. Encourage them to reflect on when AI feels genuinely helpful, and when it might be doing too much of the thinking for them. This kind of awareness fosters responsible use and builds critical thinking skills.

Beyond academics, Mouchawar recommends discussing how teens use AI in other areas, such as content creation or social interactions. Some teens are turning to AI chatbots for emotional support. While that can feel comforting, it can also create isolation from real relationships. Keeping the conversation open helps them feel supported and less alone.

Mouchawar emphasizes the importance of curiosity-driven conversations. Instead of lecturing, ask open-ended questions like:

• “What do you know about AI?”
• “How are you using it?”
• “How do you think it helps or harms you?”

This approach fosters trust and encourages teens to share their thoughts openly.

Challenge 3: “How do I stress the importance of my child’s conduct online and offline?”

A 2016 Pew Research study found that higher-income, college-educated parents talk less frequently with their children about online and offline behavior compared to less affluent parents. When they do, they’re more likely to communicate via text than phone calls or face-to-face conversations.^[4] We addressed this study with Mouchawar and asked for her perspective on why she thought this was the case.

Mouchawar noted that in her experience working with families, high-achieving parents often pour so much energy into helping their kids

excel academically and in extracurricular activities that they sometimes overlook other important areas of their children’s development. But, with a small shift in focus, they can create space for the emotional skills and life skills that will carry their children even further, such as mental health, emotional wellness, and life skills to help them be successful.

Strategy 3: How to Approach the Issue with Your Teen

Mouchawar suggests that it can help to pause and think about the life skills your teen needs to thrive, beyond academics and other activities.

You should also be sensitive to the fact that sometimes your child will not understand right from wrong in certain situations, even if you have taught these lessons in the past. Similar to how you approach the conversation of AI, try asking reflective questions like: “What do you think might happen if…?” This invites your teen to think critically about consequences and encourages self-awareness.

Communicating with Teens

Raising teens is challenging, and it’s easy to forget what it felt like to be one. The key is to talk with your teen, not at them. As they grow, they crave independence and may resist lectures. Excessive discipline can lead to secrecy and disengagement.

Instead, ask thoughtful questions, listen actively, and show genuine interest in their world. Building a foundation of trust makes it easier to navigate tough conversations about safety, technology, and personal growth. When teens feel heard and understood, they’re more likely to open up—and that connection can strengthen your relationship for years to come.

^[1] Fontana, M. (2024, November 17). New Survey Data: Parents’ Fear for Children’s Online Safety Ranks Higher than Physical and Mental Health Concerns – ECPAT. ECPAT. https://ecpat.org/new-survey-data-parents-fears-for-childrens-online-safety-ranks-higher-than-physical-and-mental-health-concerns/
^[2] Villano, M. (2024, April 16). How cell phones are killing our kids, and what we can do about it. CNN. https://www.cnn.com/2024/04/16/health/cell-phones-jonathan-haidt-wellness
^[3] Texas school policy to ban phones has parents, teachers at odds. (2023, December 26). [Video]. NBC News. https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/gadgets/yondr-phone-pouch-lock-school-rcna128247
^[4] Anderson, M., & Anderson, M. (2024, April 14). 2. How parents talk to teens about acceptable online behavior. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2016/01/07/how-parents-talk-to-teens-about-acceptable-online-behavior/